-image-Grumpier Old Men – DivX Version (Normal Quality), DVD (Good Quality), PDA Version, iPod/iPhone Version
Senin, Nop 23 at 1:03 am
2052 words in post
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IMDB rating: 6.20 Plot: Things don’t seem to change much in Wabasha County: Max and John are still fighting after 35 years, Grandpa still drinks, smokes, and chases women , and nobody’s been able to catch the fabled “Catfish Hunter”, a gigantic catfish that actually smiles at fishermen who try to snare it. Six months ago John married the new girl in town (Ariel), and people begin to suspect that Max might be missing something similar in his life. The only joy Max claims is left in his life is fishing, but that might change with the new owner of the bait shop. |
Available versions:
DivX Version (Normal Quality), DVD (Good Quality), PDA Version, iPod/iPhone Version
Actors: Matthau Walter,Lemmon Jack,Burgess Meredith,Pollak Kevin,Andelin James,Klemp Marcus,Wright Max,Evenson Wayne A.,Comedy,Romance,
Mum is making false accusations about my fiance and sister… help?
I’ve been with my fiance (Rob) for over 3 years. We have a 14 month old son and I’m 13 weeks pregnant with our second baby. This sounds so petty, but my Mum was Facebook friends with Rob and saw that some of his Facebook statuses had swear words. Rob is also friends with my sisters (13 and 15) and my cousin (14). She sent him a message about swearing and being a responsible adult and as he was ill with a tummy bug and very grumpy, he took it a bit hard and told her he’ll express himself as he chooses and that he knows my sisters hear worse words on things they watch on TV. In the end my mum replied ‘I’ll put this in language you understand: "stop being a f-ing A hole"’ He never replied to this and hasn’t mentioned it to me… I only know about it because my mum and brother have both told me.
Anyway, this was 2 days ago and I thought people were moving on. But this morning I got a call from my 20-year old brother saying mum is ranting and raving about every little thing Rob ever did in the past that annoyed her (like sleeping in late on Christmas day at their house 3 years ago). She is also now saying she doesn’t like the relationship he has with my 13 year old sister… they’re very silly and playful together, that’s true… but she was implying there is something sexual. She’s already done this with an uncle that my sisters and I were very close to… she simply can’t understand why an adult man would be friends with teenage girls. I was alone with this uncle several times between ages 6-15 but nothing ever happened… he didn’t even hug me! But she made a fuss over him being "too friendly" and we now haven’t seen him for 6 years as he was so upset at being accused. I’m now terrified if she decides something is "going on" with Rob it will split our whole family up. My 14 month old son has a great bond with his aunties and we have another baby on the way that my sisters are excited about. We already live 1.5 hours away from my parents/siblings so we don’t see them that often anyway… it would be so easy to never see them again if this got out of control. Mum has already been speaking to my Dad, auntie and grandparents about how she doesn’t like Rob and his relationship with the girls… I don’t know what to do.
Is there anything I can do to stop these accusations before they ruin everything? I just want everyone to be civil!
I don’t know all the details, but when she was a child something went on with a man who lived next door to her. He was "over friendly" and I think the gist was he touched her inappropriately. Maybe that explains it…
This isn’t an easy situation to handle. Somehow you need to talk to your mother alone.
You need to be calm and keep her calm.
I am wondering if your mothers fears relate somehow to something she has experienced in her own past? maybe someone was too ‘friendly’ with her when she was young?
What ever the issues are it needs to be discussed.
You can understand her accusing one man of being ‘over friendly’ but she seems to have fears of all young men.
I hope you can resolve this but it won’t be easy !!!
Dolly Blue | Nov 12, 2009
Without knowing the entire situation, it seems to me as if your mother’s conservative values are too stringent to keep her entirely civil. She despises swear words to the point that she associates them with pedophiles. Either she has little experience with people and this prohibits her from making informed decisions about character, or she assumes the worst about people because her experiences with them have been negative. Perhaps she was the victim of ignoble intentions by an older male figure in her life. While her judgmental nature is frustrating for you, it also is a detriment to her because she can’t get past something that has affected her deeply. Mothers are instinctively protective of their children, especially female children. She would rather drive a wedge between loved ones than risk allowing her daughters to be victimized. Ask your mother in confidence whether she has concrete reasons to believe that Rob is unhealthy for your sisters. If she fails to convince you, ask her what her accusations really stem from. Don’t confront her or try to embarrass her. She may be hiding something painful that causes her to act this way. Let her know that no one has stolen you away, or your sisters for that matter.
Kandise | Nov 12, 2009
Your mother originally may have had a point about swearing but she now has stepped out of line completely.
She knows that she is in the wrong, and she thinks the best way of defence is attack.
When she used swear words herself, she knew (deep inside) she is wrong and lost the argument.
In order to justify herself, she now attacks Rob, in all-out war, trying to bring everyone on her side.
What you can do is give your mum an "escape clause", a way of getting out of her state without loss of face. Get Rob’s help. Tell him we all know he is right, but just for the sake of peace,
he can offer an apology.
Approach your mom and tell her that Rob will apologise for his initial over-reaction, but after his apolgy it would be nice to apologise as well, because she had said very hurtfull things. Agree that after this, everyone will let the matter lie.
If your mother is persistent in her attacks, you have no choice but to stand firm with your own family.
She hopefulle will come round in time.
I believe you about Rob’s innocence in playing with the girls, but he should not be naive – people can talk, he should take care. If he wants being playfull he should always do it in the open.
Your mother might have had an experience or relate to some experience which makes her overly sensitive to this issue.
clean-green-nuclear | Nov 12, 2009
Good God!!! This is an easy one. If she doesn’t like him, she doesn’t have to marry him! Tell her too bad, you love him and that’s the way it’s going to be, and then just let it roll off your back, she’s throwing a big girl tantrum, and she needs to stay out of you and your boyfriends business.
Tell her to get a life.
kenneltech | Nov 12, 2009
cutting ties is never going to be a solution for any of you. I think you should have a talk all 3 of you and clear the air for once and for all. And have Rob apologise to her for what he did say to her. ( Even if he was right in the first place) Also let Rob know for what she has said with him and your sister. That way he will be more careful when talking to them or being around them.
Remember it is all about keeping it from blowing out of proportion.
keep in mind that such accusation even if they were lies can ruin someone life forever and even put the person in jail and ruining their life for a long time. not to mention that it can ruin your family and your children’s life forever.
You are the bridge with those 2 family, just try your best to resolve and it will be better for everyone.
Kevin | Nov 12, 2009
I know exactly how you feel because I’ve gone through the same exact same thing with my mom. Unfortunately, it ended with reports being made to the police and CPS doing an investigation. Absolutely nothing came of it because nothing was going on, but it did ruin the relationship between my mother and me and my younger sisters (14 and 16) haven’t seen me or their niece and nephew in months. It’s very sad.
What we had to do…move away and refuse to let my mother know our whereabouts.
My mom was sexually abused by her father and brothers her entire childhood. As a result, she is extremely over-protective and believes all men are potential pedophiles. Growing up, my mother accused my father of sexually inappropriate behavior and then later admitted that it wasn’t true (after I was an adult). She had all these rules about not being alone with my dad, etc. It really effected my relationship with him. Now, my mom is finally realizing that it’s not normal and she’s going to receive therapy for her past abuse. But it doesn’t mean I trust her. I am very cautious about the information I give her, because she has gone as far as contacting my daughter’s paternal grandparents and trash talking to them. It’s ruined more than my relationship with her.
I advice that you keep to yourself and refuse to let your mother in on your business. I would also advice that your husband block your mother from his FB account. There is no reason she needs to be on there. If she doesn’t want her daughters as his "friends", then she will make them block him.
Additional: If you want to talk to her, I would advice that you bring up the situation with your uncle and tell your mom that he *never, ever* did anything inappropriate with you, yet she falsly accused him and ruined that relationship. Tell her that you will not allow her to do to your husband what she did to your uncle, and if she wants a relationship with her grandchildren, she will not trash talk anymore! It’s very immature behavoir. If she has a problem with something, she should come to you, like and adult, and discuss it. End of story.
Love Perseveres! A&C mommy | Nov 12, 2009
Tell her straight up how idiotic she’s being. Tell her that Rob is not (and willnever be) a pedophile. If need be, remind her of the uncle who was chased away by those same ridiculous accusations.
Gosurori_Otaku | Nov 12, 2009